Back to School (with no schooling to back you)

A Travelogue on Hell

Wu + Gravitation 2
Wu + Gravitation 2 (Photo credit: BlastoiseMaster)

It is nice to have a visit to this place called hell sometimes. It reminds you of quite a lot you used to do and saves you from repeating your own mistakes. No matter how prepared you are, hell can always surprise you, unpleasantly, of course.
What is it actually? It is a place where there is no love. It is a place where everyone wants love and no one spares any. It is a place where people are so stiff-necked they never took a good look at themselves. No mirrors too, since there are no friends.
You can’t befriend anyone here. Trying to do so is like asking a frog to jump after you have cut off its limbs. The frog can still hear you but it can’t move a limb, having none at all. This might make you shout or look up its aural canal for ear wax. It doesn’t help.
But people are happy in hell. It is your visit that bothers them. Left to themselves, they manage. They do it playing a game called comparison. Any one who goes in will have to play this game. The visiting players always seem to do better and that causes a national disaster in hell. They declare a few days of mourning and all of them, or at least those who were playing, go back to their shells. Their Internet Service Providers go on vacation.
The interesting thing about hell is the language they speak with you. They speak in a language they don’t understand. And if you claim to have understood it, they will tell you they meant totally something else. And then they repeat what they had said. You are left to wonder what the difference is. There is a difference. They have only one pronoun in their language; it has a nominative case also. Other pronouns are used only in the accusative case.
It goes something like this.
Eg: They do.
She does.
But I am done to. (not I do) (and its passive voice)
In their churches, when the big question is asked, there is perfect silence. The bride and bridegroom turn around and ask their friends and relatives whether they should say “She does or He does or I am done to or its more passive form, ‘This is (being) done to me”
The schools in hell are interesting too. Even the lessons are called Mistakes. (Compare with those in heaven where “Mistakes are called Lessons”) The schools are all play way method schools. They play games that all people play.
There is no problem with power failures here since every one is blind and they just love darkness. Some people who got their blindness cured when they had a near death experience had to leave hell and go live in heaven, leaving their near and dear ones behind. Now, who likes that!
There are no hills in hell. Everyone lives in a ditch. Wherever you go you are walking both ways downhill. It is the phenomenon called double gravitational pull as time doubles up as space. Time does not exist here and a lot of wounds are green and unhealed.
There is no water in hell. People dig for water everywhere. It is a rocky terrain. This has made people look for water wherever rocks are. Too many stone hearted people here live in fear that some day their hearts will be dug into.
Pets are a craze in hell. Most of them love pets and keep them. Pets are sometimes preferred to children. Children sometimes make things complicated. They might turn against you and then you can’t kill them. You are stuck with them. Parents and spouses also don’t fare better. Only those who love are loved. Loving only those who love you is called romance in here.
However, the people here are very nice. When they see you, they grab your hand and hold on to you till they leave you. And they are so nice, they leave you soon. If you hold them any longer, they twist your arms and free themselves. It is called a good-bye.
More travelogues to other interesting places soon.

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